Hormonal balance

Bi-identical hormone replacement therapy – invented by a saint, perhaps?

Say what you want – no amount of talking, no amount of preparation, no amount of intellectualization can prepare a woman for menopause. Bio-identical hormone replacement therapy, conventional HRT, toughing it out, taking anti-depressants or going on a spiritual cleanse – there are endless suggestions. Strange, that. Because while your hormones are going though this violent swing cycle, you are in no condition to make a rational decision.

This is the start of one woman’s struggle with a tough decision.

Who is this woman who strangely moved into my body in December? I mean the uninvited guest, the ugly witch, the crone from the deep. She – whoever she is – had no business occupying this temple, this aging vessel, heretofore positive, upbeat and energetic. Then, strangely, no longer so.

“I had no idea it would be like this”, whined Self One. Self Two said “Tough cookies, I have control.” And Dearly Beloved, patience personified, requested eviction of Self Two with immediate effect, even though he was handling the apparent personality change with aplomb. There is simply not enough room in our relationship for the three of us, especially when the uninvited one is so, well, horrid.

I’m the one who in the folly of youth tended to say “I’ll never … use a soother for my babies/get fat when I get older/get a divorce, and later …never use HRT. I lied.

No longer able to live like that, I took myself off to a naturopathic doctor for a full work-up, 25 vials of blood and all the other fascinating tests, and begged for relief. Dr. Jaconello is a thorough – though admittedly old fashioned – man, and I had to wait for all those test results, and repeated hormone level tests over a period of weeks, to come back.

Surprise! My levels were at record lows. Not surprising then that I had been feeling incapable of conducting a life with any meaning or purpose. Sparing you the ad nauseum details, Dr. J had a compounding pharmacy make me a customized supply of bio-identical hormones. Best part is they are completely customized for little old me. (Admittedly, for some BHRT is controversial, as is HRT – but this was not embarked upon without a considerable amount of research.)

Three weeks later, Self Two seems to have gone on vacation. “Good riddance,” says Self One.

Things are looking brighter. More reports to follow …