10 ways to be the best grandparent

Perspective on multiple birth grandchildren, part 3

Every one of us baby boomers can make a positive difference in a child’s life, and even as we age,  grandparents and great-grandparents are an integral part of the support system that children need so they can grow and flourish. I gave my first ten pointers for  positive grandparenting last time ((link to it), and here are 10 more.

11. If you live in the same area as your children and grandchildren, you may be able to take a baby/child home overnight on a rotating basis. Be sure and have age-appropriate toys, books and clothing on hand. Find out what interests your grandchildren and gear your play towards his/her interests. You will need to be prepared to engage in appropriate age level play.

12. If you do not live in the same area as your grandchildren, learn to work the computer! Once you get the hang of it, you will enjoy this rewarding and very easy way to keep in touch. Connect to e-mail, and perhaps Facebook, and write to your grandchildren often. You will be making important connections that you, and they, will cherish for a lifetime. My 80-year old mother and nearly 89-year old father-in-law are regular computer users and the grandkids are thrilled to hear from them. They think their grandparents are “cool” for knowing how to work their computers.

13. Remember that your multiple birth grandchildren are individuals even though they share the same birthday. They will not necessarily have the same interests, talents or abilities. Keep in mind their uniqueness, individual interests and capabilities, especially when buying them gifts. Grandparents often like to be fair and spend equal amounts of money on each grandchild. Depending upon what you are purchasing, it may be more advantageous to focus on their individual interests rather than the amount of money spent on each gift.

14. If you notice that each grandchild prefers a particular toy, you may purchase two (or three or four) in order to reduce any arguing over it. In such cases, put each child’s initial on the bottom of the toy so that it is clear who owns it. You might also consider purchasing a game that everyone can play together.

15. Don’t be overly worried if you cannot tell your multiple birth grandchildren apart if they look quite a bit alike. Even monozygotic (identical) multiples are not completely alike. Spending time with each child alone will enable you to quickly recognize the differences (e.g. hair whorl, a mole or freckle, shape of earlobes, body language.) [More on page 2]

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