I confess. I haven’t been to the Young Centre for the Performing Arts in the Distillery District before, even though I’ve lived in the GTA for almost 30 years. Until just now.

Our Theatre Critic Ron Singer reviewed Soulpepper Theatre’s production of Jitters recently, which compelled us to go, so encouraging were his words. We were not disappointed. Jitters supplied three acts of engaging performances, a crazy story of theatrical crises, and laugh out loud moments.

What impressed us was how perfect was the setting. The foyer is a suitably spacious informal focal point in which audiences attending different productions can mingle, the F&B is speedily and cheerfully served, and the prices are reasonable. If you love old industrial brick architecture with lofty ceilings, that characterizes all of the Distillery District, Young Centre will not disappoint.

The theatre, the auditorium, whatever you want to call it – Jitters was in the Baillie Theatre – is special. It seats – and I’m guessing here – a few over 200 people in an intimate but not cramped setting which makes each member of the audience feel really in touch with the players. Big enough to create a vibrant atmosphere, small enough to make you feel special. We like that!

I’m thinking of signing up for the season.

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by Marilyn Minden, RSW

Dear Marilyn,
I know this sounds like everyone else out there but I procrastinate. Badly. I think a lot about doing great things with my life, but I don’t get further than thinking about them. Why do I do this to myself? I’m really tired and I’m feeling stuck. Stuckhearted, Toronto

Dear Stuckhearted,

It’s not surprising that you are tired.  Procrastination is exhausting and stressful.  Stress is a fight, flight or freeze response which releases a flood of hormones, adrenaline and cortisol into your system.  The more you procrastinate, the more stress you feel and the more stress you feel, the more you procrastinate.You are stuck in a negative cycle.  Your habit of thinking without doing may have become a fixed response. Procrastinators establish habits that lock them into a negative pattern, meaning you become more skilled at procrastinating than taking action.

Big Goals –Big Avoidance

Procrastinators tend to imagine gigantic goals that feel, and in fact may be, impossible to reach. The dream or the goal is exciting in itself but the energy for it fizzles out quickly. It is reasonable to avoid doing anything that feels impossible, overwhelming, and has no guarantee of succeeding.

The Paradox

Contrary to common perception, procrastination is not about being lazy. It is usually about perfectionism, and feeling overwhelmed. Paradoxically, immobility is a way to reinforce feelings of failure – the very feelings you want to avoid. Procrastinators mentally skip over the action details of reaching a goal.

Feeling Better:  The Action/Mood Connection

Begin to create a positive feedback loop for yourself – ‘taking one step at a time’ is a physical action, and one of the simplest antidotes to being stuck.  Here are a few more ‘action steps’ that may propel you on your way:-

Imagine you are standing alone at the top of a mountain and you shout out : “What keeps me stuck … aaaah!”
Notice if your inner voice is critical. Turn your inner “critics” into allies.  Would you talk to your best friends the way you talk to yourself?
Write in one sentence what’s important to you about not procrastinating.
Create a visual map if you are averse to writing.  You are the painter, the palette is yours.
Remove the word “later” from the comment “I’ll do it.”

Use others to help you

Procrastination is often a private struggle. Invite a close friend to just listen while you ask and answer out loud these six questions:

Who am I doing this for?
What difference would it make to my life?
What’s my first step?
What helps me to keep going?
Who can help me with this?
Guidelines: Be rigorously honest, specific and realistic.

Find someone to schedule a check in with you weekly for an update, guidance and encouragement. This will keep you ‘honest’ and help sustain your motivation and momentum. Keep all your scheduled check-ins whether or not you had a ‘good’ week. Whether you proceed with a small, or big life changing event, your procrastination may temporarily resurface. This is a realistic pattern of learning. Do not be discouraged. Review and practice what you’ve learned. That’s progress.

When you exercise a new habit of taking action, the following may occur: your negative stress will diminish. You will feel lighter, unapologetic, positive, bold, connected to your ‘inner ally’ and more energetic!

www.marilynminden.com
Recommended Reading:  Procrastination:  Why you do it and what to do about it. By Jane B. Burka, Lenora M. Yuen

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by Gareth Nock

Starting out - modified push up, coached by Gareth Nock

Over 50 and thinking about getting in shape, but wondering where to start? You could be forgiven for thinking that the only people who use a personal trainer are young mothers, sporty people or big muscle-bound men. Not so.

Baby boomers are hiring personal trainers in droves. This may be a response to research that shows that over 50s are not spending enough time ‘keeping fit’. For example, only an average of 30% of men and women over 50 partake in the recommended 30 minutes of exercise a day (walking, cycling, swimming). That’s less than one in three baby boomers.

Although I admit to being biased, I assure you that hiring a personal trainer will really help to get you on track with a new, healthier lifestyle and routine. Taking advantage of the skills of a certified personal trainer gets you to where you want to be faster – and that means getting the health advantages you crave, if only you knew how. I’ve seen the results for myself, many times over.

Measured results

Only measurable goals allow you to track your progress. Develop these goals in concert with your trainer, and he or she will motivate and coach you through the program, keep you safe and monitor your progress. How you choose your trainer is key – he or she must be qualified, have experience with over 50s, and have all the credentials you need to ensure safe, injury-free and health beneficial training.

As well as customizing a safe and effective training program for your body type and stage in life, taking into account any injuries or anomalies, a personal trainer will also help you to create the correct nutrition plan to support your daily exercise. A personal trainer will do a complete assessment including measurements, test for lean muscle mass, and evaluate your current and ongoing fitness levels and strength. You should demand a complete assessment before you embark on any fitness training program.

What to expect from training

Working with a personal trainer will bring to you many health benefits,  apart from the fact that you just feel a lot better knowing you are doing something positive for yourself. A personal trainer can anchor you to your commitments, and ensure that you can remain healthful and vibrant through the decades to come. From a customized training program, you can expect – demand, even – these positive impacts on your wellbeing:-

Keeping active will give you more energy and keep you feeling lively. Sitting around not doing much will leave you feeling tired and sluggish

As you get older your metabolism slows down. Exercise can offset this effect and help keep your weight at a stable level by keeping your lean (muscle) mass high.

Exercise can help you get a more restful and beneficial night’s sleep

Keeping active helps to protect your bones and joints from ageing and also helps to maintain mobility and balance.

Low impact exercise, like Pilates and Yoga, will strengthen your stabilizing muscles and help you stand tall, at the same time protecting the lower spine from pressure and pain.

Going it alone

Full, on-toes push-ups: through personal training now can do 100!

“Quite frankly, if I don’t have someone standing over me encouraging me to keep going, I give up at the first sign of hard work,” admitted 55-year old Margaret. “Having an appointment with a trainer twice a week is the only thing that keeps me motivated to put on my cross-trainers. In 10 weeks with Gareth, I lost 12lbs of middle-age spread (aka fat), and put on 5lbs of muscle.”

However, she was able to cut the ties after a year of excellent coaching. “Now that I feel this good, I’ll continue putting Gareth’s coaching into practice on my own, with the occasional tune-up with him on technique and goals. Having worked to get to where I am fitness-wise, there’s no way I’m going back to slothville!”

Since entering the fitness industry in 1997 Gareth’s experience and exceptional achievements have been recognized throughout the world of fitness. He has built a large clientele of personal training clients from all walks of life spanning age ranges from the twenties to eighties, including elite athletes, expectant mothers and people recovering from injury and illness. In recent years he has built an international reputation as one of the top presenters in the industry because of his skill as a coach in group settings as well as in one-on-one sessions. Gareth Nock is one of the principals of BN2Fitness.

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Reviewed by Ron Singer

Love, Loss and What I Wore is about memories, mammaries and much, much more. It’s a play based on shared experiences primarily dedicated to women’s dependence and obsession with clothing and their bodies. It’s a delightful afternoon or evening’s entertainment aimed mostly at women, 20 years old and older, but in my opinion, will probably be more meaningful to those over 40 and it can, most definitely, also resonate for the ‘thoughtful’ male.

This play is based on a book by Ilene Beckerman, who had saved all of her clothing and then, at one point later in life, when she realized that there were interesting and nostalgic memories and stories associated with each saved item, wrote a book telling those stories. The Ephron Sisters, Nora and Delia, then created this play by taking that book and expanding the concept and adding stories from other women.

Love Loss and What I Wore features a stellar rotating cast, starting this past week (July 21st) with Mary Walsh, Louise Pitre, Sharron Mathews, Andrea Martin and Paula Brancati, who will then pass on the story-telling duties in several weeks’ time to five other superb Canadian actresses. This production and script in the hands of these truly talented actors, offers the audience ample opportunity to both laugh and cry, since the stories range from laugh out loud comedic to poignant, sad and downright tragic or embarrassing, like the young, fashionably dressed woman who accidentally stained someone’s brand new and very expensive white sofa, because she unexpectedly started menstruating.

The actors actually sit on chairs the entire time and take turns, either telling or reading their stories. But at no time was I ever distracted or bored by the lack of costumes, props, scenery and/or movement. These versatile performers were always able to bring the characters and their stories to vivid life. And while all of these performers are as adept at handling the comic moments as they are at the sad or tragic, Andrea Martin, not surprisingly, stands out with her comic turns.

In some instances it’s the occasion that leads to memories of the clothes worn, while in other instances, it’s the exact reverse, an item of clothing reminds the storyteller of a special event.

And the myriad of topics covered by these memories range from aging to lipstick, Madonna’s influence on fashion, proms, shirts, panties, shoes, weight, jewelry, mirrors, shopping, purses, brides, mothers, bras, changing sizes, wedding days, divorces and very familiar and probably universal phrases like, “I’ve got nothing to wear, I only look good in black and I can’t find my…”, to name but a few of the subjects with which almost all women and girls can identify.

For those of you familiar with the play, The Vagina Monologues, you’ll probably find this play similar because of the staging and the emphasis on women’s concerns, but it is certainly less provocative.

This play with an American cast, has been packing them in off Broadway in New York for just under a year now and my guess is it’ll be just as successful here in TO.

About Ron Singer: Artistic Director Emeritus of The Randolph Academy of the Performing Arts, former Chair of the Department of Theatre at York University, former entertainment critic (CFRB Radio and Standard Broadcast News), and former  arts and entertainment reporter (CBC Variety Tonight).

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3. Legally Blonde

Happy and grateful movement

“Typically we complain about what we don’t like that’s happening around us, and make demands for it to be improved,” says Diane Devenyi about the political system in Toronto, and worldwide. “The new political paradigm – the paradigm for true democracy – is to focus on what is working really well and on what we can all do to make it even better.”

When she spoke to Tempo Toronto, Diane was deciding whether to run for Mayor in Toronto’s Municipal Elections, October 2010, so frustrated was she with the way the then current Mayoralty candidates were campaigning. “Einstein reminded us,” she said, ” that insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.”

“I am faced with the sad reality that the political arenas that are most personal to us – our cities – are where the fewest of us go out to vote. Only one third of us are engaged enough to go out and cast a ballot.  I am a proponent of Ghandi, who invited us to be the change we wish to see. It’s now time to do something different.”

Fearless Mastery

Diane Devenyi is a recovering Toronto lawyer who is committed to educational reform and changing the way we all contribute to life. The path she has revealed is Fearless Mastery, a 21st century learning practice that maximizes learning for all ages and abilities (website www.thelearningforce.com). The vision has grown into an innovative program called The First Five Days, which features Fearless Mastery and creates a space in which participants connect to their passions and express them positively through service in live and online communities.

Diane is finding support for her work in various organizations: as Founder and Director of The Learning Force, as a member of United Global Shift (led by Dr. Monica Sharma of the United Nations), and as an Ambassador for Impact First International (formerly Gems of Hope). Current projects include bringing The First Five Days to The Bahamas, Costa Rica, and North America, as well as growing the Happy and Grateful movement worldwide.

G(irls)20 Summit

Spearheaded by The Belinda Stronach Foundation, and supported by a coalition of over 50 organizations, the G(irls)20 Summit invited one young woman from each of the G20 nations, and one from the African Union, to discuss how girls and women can help solve some of the world’s greatest challenges. Diane Devenyi created a video (top of page)  that encapsulates the ‘Happy and Grateful’ movement. It is addressed to G20 leaders, and each G(irls)20 delegate expresses positive affirmations about what they would like to see in the world.  For example, Leah Stuart-Sheppard, Canada’s delegate, is “happy and grateful that every woman and girl has a chance to have an education.”

“My personal vision is that we all be the change for a change”, said Diane.

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Two hours that could transform your home

Win 2-hour consultation with McNeil House Interior Design expert home stager Geri Harper

Homes that look their best command higher prices. If you are thinking of selling your home, or if you need some sage advice to help pull together the look of your interior decor to go from sad to stunning, you can win a staging consultation with Geri Harper.

For any style – new country, urban chic, contemporary, classic …

Staging improves pricing

Geri Harper of McNeil House Interior Design sees colour and space in a uniquely effective way. As if by magic, using items you already have in your home, by showing you how to de-clutter for most impact, and by adding colour and accessories that will magically pull together the entire look of your home, Geri will provide the most effective time you have ever spent with an interior design expert. Geri has staged dozens of homes in Toronto and the GTA for resale, as well as helping scores of Toronto residents to make their homes the best they can be on the tightest of budgets.

Go from blah to beautiful on time and within budget.

The Prize

Geri Harper will come to your home in Toronto/GTA , including Aurora and Newmarket, for a single 2-hour visit, discuss your goals with you, and make all the budget-sensitive recommendations you need to improve the visual appeal of your home for either resale or just to make it a nicer place in which to live. She’s really good at this!

To Win

Use the Contact form (click or go to bottom menu). With “Home Staging Contest” in the subject line, tell Tempo Toronto who is your favourite real estate agent in Toronto/GTA, and why. We’re compiling a “Top 10″ list of Toronto Real Estate Agents, and we need to hear from you who are the best ones.

CONTEST RULES

Only one entry from each email address will be accepted. The entry must be complete, and provide valid answer to the questions who is your favourite Toronto/GTA Real Estate Agent and why?.

The contest closes midnight on August 31. No entries will be accepted after that time.

You must sign in as a Tempo Toronto member or create a membership to be eligible to enter.

The prize is transferable to someone in Toronto/GTA.

The prize is for Toronto/GTA residents only, including Aurora and Newmarket.

The prize includes 2-hours of time. Purchase of any materials, furniture or accessories recommended is the responsibility of the home owner.

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. To be eligible, entries must be completed and received on or by the closing date. Incomplete entries will be disqualified. The contest is open to Canadian citizens of age of majority. Identification must be produced on request. The prize is not redeemable in cash and must be accepted as awarded. Decisions of the contest judges are final – no substitutions will be available. By claiming the prize, the winner authorizes the use, without additional compensation of his or her name and/or likeness and/or voice/photograph and municipality of residence for promotion and/or advertising purposes in any manner and in any medium (including without limitation, radio broadcasts, newspapers and other publications and in television or film releases, slides, videotape, distribution over the internet and picture data storage) which Tempo Publishing deems appropriate.

In accepting the prize, the winner acknowledges that Tempo Toronto or Tempo Publishing may not be held liable for any loss, damages or injury associated with accepting or using this prize(s).

Tempo Publishing retains the rights, in its absolute and sole discretion, to make substitutions of equivalent kind or approximate value in the event of the unavailability of any prize or component of the prize for any reason whatsoever.

This contest is subject to all federal, provincial and municipal laws in Canada and Ontario.

Tempo Publishing reserves the right to withdraw or terminate this contest at any time without prior notice.

Approximate value of prizes vary.

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from Rose Reisman’s Family Favourites

Serves 12

1 cup chocolate wafer crumbs

1 Tbsp water

2 tsp vegetable oil

2 Tbsp semisweet chocolate chips

2 Tbsp hot water

1 tsp instant coffee

1 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup cocoa powder

2 Tbsp all-purpose flour

1/4 cup + 1 Tbsp light cream cheese (about 2.5 oz), softened

2 large eggs

1/4 cup low-fat sour cream

3 Tbsp corn syrup

1 tsp vanilla extract

icing sugar (to decorate)

These are the best-selling desserts at Rose Reisman Catering.They are so dense, they will put you into chocolate heaven. You will never believe they are lower fat. Drizzle with melted chocolate for an extra special touch.

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly coat a 12-cup muffin tin with cooking spray.

2. In a small bowl, combine the crumbs, 1 Tbsp water and oil until mixed. Divide and pat into the bottom of the muffin tins.

3. In a small bowl, combine the chocolate chips, 2 Tbsp hot water and coffee. Microwave for 40 seconds on High or just until the chocolate begins to melt. Stir until smooth.

4. In the bowl of a food processor, add the sugar, cocoa powder, flour, cream cheese, eggs, sour cream, corn syrup and vanilla. Purée until smooth. Add the chocolate mixture and purée until smooth. Divide among the muffin cups and bake for 12 to 14 minutes or just until the centers are still slightly loose. Cool and chill at least 2 hours before serving. Carefully remove from the tin with a knife. Decorate with icing sugar.

per serving Calories 220 • Protein 3.6 g • Carbohydrates 30 g • Fiber 1.5 g • Total fat 5.8 g • Saturated fat 2.1 g • Cholesterol 23 mg • Sodium 62 mg • prep time 15 minutes • bake time 12 minutes • make ahead: can be baked 2 days in advance and refrigerated.

• nutrition watch There is increasing evidence that compounds in chocolate (dark chocolate) may beneficially affect cardiovascular health.

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by Chris Caldwell

This is not about the questionable behaviour of the TTC suddenly dropping off notes to Toronto Ward 29 residents, telling them of plans to expropriate their houses. That has been covered adequately in the media in the past few weeks. This is about community, strong bonds, and being democratic.

In an age of transition, a settled family is a rarity and a valuable anchor for a community. Taking this iconic structure away from Toronto communities is like ripping a plant out by the roots – it will die.

The taking of one’s house by force, even with compensation, would be an emotional and trying ordeal for anyone. The taking of one’s home is another story. The years of emotional and social investment, the raising of children, the experiences that have become stories over time and the eyes and ears that have seen a community evolve over 50 years, become monetized in the purview of bureaucracy and expropriated in the name of ‘the code’.

There has been a positive to the ordeal. The community has rallied and come together to spread a message, one that screams “We live here and this is our neighbourhood!”. Someone who is not familiar with the community could see NIMBYism – ‘we don’t want blight in our backyard!’ (and who does?). But, in Toronto communities if something is for the greater good, we all consider compromise.

The devil is not in the TTC plans but in the approach and ethic, or lack thereof, that seems to plague an ever-centralizing government. This abrupt and inconsiderate letter delivery is a denouement for this Council which will hopefully write its final chapter this fall.

We clearly have a community that has risen to gather its intellectual and social capacity to produce an outstanding rebuttal that makes more sense than anything the TTC has put together in recent times. They should be very proud, and continue to draw on the energy to create a permanent change in a planning process to everyone’s benefit. In the spirit of Jane Jacobs, this community has shown us that antiquated policies will tear down our communities, if we let them.

Thank you Ward 29, and particularly Strathmore residents!

Chris Caldwell  has his Masters in Environmental Studies, Sustainable and Strategic Urban Planning with a Graduate Diploma in Business and the Environment, from York University. He is Ward 29 candidate for Toronto City Council in the 2010 Municipal Elections, and he is passionate about community and sustainability. www.caldwellforcouncil.ca

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by Elizabeth Mason

Photo: Scott Downey

The second and third time brides have most probably already lived the fantasy of their first traditional wedding gown. Now, in consideration of a more seasoned spirit, they lean towards an elegant or sexy cocktail dress, that’s powerful and uniquely different than the gown they chose for their first wedding. No longer feeling compelled to blow the baby’s college fund on a single expensive designer bridal gown, the second-timers are more inclined to consider value and the potential to wear their vintage dress or gown for future occasions.

Because they are having this wedding just for them, second-time brides are not as concerned with choosing a gown that will wow their family and friends. They just want to dazzle their new husband. With second-time brides, there seem to be no ‘sides to their box’.

If  you are considering a vintage gown for your wedding you need an open mind. If a gown has ‘good bones’, for example, but needs a little updating, then having courage and imagination – and working with a vintage specialist -  is the secret to a beautiful and uniquely-your-own vintage bridal gown.

Selecting for age and proportion

Photo: Scott Downey

The dress needs to be age appropriate, as many second-timers are in their forties, fifties or more. The dress must be figure flattering, and must transition from the ceremony to the reception with both functionality and beauty. Often times the brides will opt for a variation of white, in creams and ivory to embrace the tradition of the wedding, but not the symbolism of the ‘blushing bride’ in pure white.

One of the only restrictions when choosing to wear vintage is the issue of sizing. Women were much smaller in past eras, and there are limited amounts of larger sizes especially from the 1920s through the early 1940s. Bear in mind also that many eras required a specific type of undergarment to structure a figure to fit the cut and drape of a particular style – such as the restrictive corsets worn during the ‘New Look’ era. That being said, I am never opposed to altering a gown to compensate for a more contemporary and comfortable undergarment.   (continues on next page)

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by Deborah Weinstein

Everything, when it’s your personal brand; and perception is reality in the virtual world.

But branding isn’t something left to corporations and products. We are all brands. Your personal brand reflects who you are and what you do. Your personal brand is reflected in what you say and what you do. This is particularly important in the social media space, where your words, thoughts, musings and frailties are broadcast, saved and indexed by robots. It is therefore important to be proactive about managing your personal brand.

Virtual personality

This brand personality also needs to be strong, authentic and compelling. This is what helps people emerge and differentiate themselves from millions of other voices clamouring to be heard. Your name in the socially-networked universe defines your brand — your essence, what you stand for, your reputation and your three second BLINK, all in 140 characters or less!

Differentiate yourself

So, how do you differentiate and elevate your personal brand, your on-line identity, in a social world teeming with thousands, no millions, of individuals calling out to be heard?

For proof of the bottom-line importance of asserting your personal brand you need look no further than:

• A recent poll of 2600 North American Hiring Managers that revealed 45% of those surveyed use social media background checks to vet prospective employees; and
• 35% of respondents said they’d found something social that caused them NOT to hire the candidate. (continues next page)
  

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